The Tantric Dance of Messing Up

Perfection is not rigid. Some say it does not exist, but that is because they have the definition of: flawless, impeccable, impossibly good. Real, honest, Goddess perfection sometimes is taking a nose-dive into a rabbit hole in which you’re not even welcome (not in Kansas anymore, babycakes). And letting yourself be at the mercy of luck, your own quick wit, and people who may or may not want to kill you. And you may step on some toes and you may be threatened by some executioners. But this journey has only taught you an array of skills and characteristics you didn’t know you had, because your soul only got the opportunity to show them in these precarious situations. Having an adventure gone wrong sometimes turns you from a frail, naieve little thing, to a fierce, wise, unfuckwithable fully fledged Witch whose wings are fully grown and out.

Best Ways To Keep Busy During Covid

  1. Study a new language! Use Duolingo, Rosetta stone, or other apps to absorb the words and linguistics of a country or culture you’re interested in.
  2. Learn a new instrument. Before it is too late for these stores to be open, buy a guitar or a keyboard or a banjo and hole yourself in your room watching YouTube tutorials.
  3. Introspect. I mean, you’re alone in your house, hopefully with family and friends, but much of that time will be spent in your bedroom. It is the ideal opportunity to take a good hard look in the mirror, to appreciate your good qualities and see if there is any you’d want to work on.
  4. Write a journal! Keeping a daily log of events helps you to have insight into how your emotions impact your actions, and behavior patterns; you will gain a lot of psychological clarity. Also it will improve your memory; everything you write down will be reinforced by your brain so make sure you also write about happy exciting days. Journaling is cathartic for bad days too, when you spill your guts through ink it has the therapeutic value of telling people and relieves the emotional burden. If you enjoy writing about your life, maybe compose a memoir about an intense period of growth or havoc in your life.
  5. Keep friends close despite the physical distance. If you don’t have enough people to talk to, you can even visit sites like Tumblr or omegle to find people with common interests to gain new acquaintances and pen pals.
  6. Make money from home by being creative! Learn a new trade skill or craft and sell things online to supplement your income. Maybe you have an old pair of jeans that no longer fit and if you patch up the holes and bedazzle them they’ll go up in monetary value. Maybe you have an untapped passion for painting and with all the free time on your hands you can better home your talents and sell things. There is a website called Fiverr that allows you to advertise different gigs, most categories of which are creative, writing and marketing.
  7. Foster a pet! Since you’re home more anyway your schedule is more flexible to take care of a new animal. Play with them as often as you can and you’re enhancing their life while they enhance yours by socializing them and preparing them for interacting with humans and perhaps other pets so they will have higher odds of getting adopted. And you could always keep the furbaby if you fall in love.
  8. Expand your horizons. Every day, read at least a chapter of a book, fiction or nonfiction. Research a topic that piques your interest that you know little about. Get music recommendations and listen to a new artist or band every day. Watch classic and foreign films. Don’t be afraid to ask people questions when you’re curious about something they say. Always keep learning.
  9. In moments of stillness and quiet, and whenever you get the opportunity (could be when you are busy too), seek to become closer to God or your higher power. To know them better and be on a higher frequency. If you are atheist seek a deeper understanding and more harmonious relationship with yourself. Honor your inner power, your intuition, and follow your deepest desires.
  10. Make a vision board. Creating a poster or bulletin board with a collage of words and images about the ideal life and self you want to achieve in Divine Time will help you manifest it, especially if you look at it with a bright, positive attitude of believing/knowing you’re on the path to getting there every day. The Law of Attraction is supremely powerful.

The Power of the Orgasm

In sex we unite with our energetic opposite/complament. No matter the gender or personality of the mate, we always choose somebody who is the yang to our yin or vice versa. We seek the energy that is latent inside our own vessels, or that is inert of undiscovered. So this union of polarities, like magnets, is an unstoppable force that creates quite the collision. Sex, especially passionate lovemaking between soulmates, is one of the most sacred parts of our human experience.

When two beings are joined in their human vehicles it creates powerful cords or bonds in their sacral chakra (or heart too if they are in love). You are giving and taking each other’s auric energies. He is giving her his seed and she has the energy of it inside her and can invoke it at any time. No matter what a bond is formed.

Sex between soulmates is worlds beyond that. Instead of it just being a physical experience, your two souls come out and become intertwined. You are having both physical and astral sex. This brings the deepest feelings of love and euphoria. For a few minutes your souls lose their “outlines” and merge, and you feel the totality of their essence. It is quite beautiful.

Scientifically, while you have intercourse, serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin are released in the brain, causing feelings of pleasure and euphoria. This elevation of frequency keeps increasing until the orgasm, where it hits the maximum point of ecstasy and then fizzles out. During the orgasm, you are at your rawest, and most powerful. The orgasm brings out your very soul as do all powerful emotions, and emotions + desires + intentions are the three ingredients to any spell. So when you orgasm it can be life changing to put out your deepest wish to the universe. This state of ecstasy and union is the norm for the higher dimensions so when you have sex, as long as it’s good sex, especially with a soulmate, you can access your power up there and create ripples through space time.

Ask for a car. Ask for a long vacation. Ask for a raise. Ask for a thunderstorm. Ask for your children to behave. Ask for adventure. Ask to deepen the relationship. Ask to have more spiritual experiences. Ask for a baby. Anything you request during the few long potent seconds of your orgasm will be granted easy as wishing on a star when you are a child and still believe in fairy tales, rather than being weighed down by lifelong skepticism and disappointment.

If your partner is someone you competely trust, and/or a witch or magick practitioner as well, and you both have a common goal, both say it out loud or in your head at the release. This will double the power and make it come true even faster and stronger.


Your third eye is beginning to open just enough for your soul to squint out of your body. You’re on a confusing path with no known destination. People are being cruel to you for no reason, but you aren’t breaking; it’s making you stronger. You have the desire to isolate and the urge to go mad.

Sometimes these conditions of energetic upheaval manifests a furry psychically gifted companion into your life.

Other times it is just happens when it’s the only time you can meet them, because otherwise they’ll be found by someone else, and the universe arranged the fate of your partnership.

I personally got my familiar as a surprise Christmas present. She was a foster kitten, and only about 7 weeks old. She was very tiny, but very energetic. I remember almost crying from joy, petting her and playing with her, and then her falling asleep in my lap.

when I had my initial spiritual awakening, I had an extremely vivid dream (potent feeling dreams that feel even realer than reality are often truly taking place on the astral plane) of her sleeping. But i felt her completely like I WAS her, even though I was still me watching her.

then I had another dream that a pitch black entity entered my room from the window, which was one of the most intense experiences of my life. We were making out passionately on my couch. But since I was a virgin and Protected, my cat used laser eye powers to get rid of him before he could go inside me. It is true that they are the gatekeepers if the underworld, because that Entity most certainly hailed from there, and with her Cat Powers she sent him back to his realm.

Then in 2016 I got partially demon possessed, and she still did not abandon me even with the darker soul sharing my body. In fact she hung out with me more because I had lost my friends and needed the company. Sometimes I’d telepathize to her. I’d ask a question and say “blink if the answer is yes.” I don’t know if she actually heard me in her head or she did it coincidentally but the answers were pretty accurate.

Then my psychic abilities got stronger over the next two years, and I was able to telepathize with her. In the astral realm and beyond there is no limitations to conscious communication, so you can have a thought in your own language and it translates to theirs I believe. I think I told her “I love you” or “hi” (I don’t remember what I said though and she said clear as day in my head in a voice that I’ve never heard since it was a little girls voice but was undeniably hers “i are a princess” which completely reflects how we treat her in the household (she is very loved and spoiled), and her high position amongst my soul tribe. I telepathized a few times with her after that. She helped me think differently when I desperately needed guidance. She is my favorite being.

Comment about your familiar, whether cat, dog, horse, bird, rabbit, etc. and what they have done for you on the spiritual realm or in the astral plane or simply emotionally as healers. And how you met!!

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

How to Meet your True Self


Humans are too often ruled by their ego, fears, and base instincts. We have both the animalistic mind known as the Id which causes us to desire the necessities for our survival and continuation as a species (hunger, lust, anger when provoked); and the Superego which was thought to be good and very morally proper and keeps the person in control,. However the superego has its flaws too. You can use so much logic that it overrides your intuition and instincts. You can worry for hours and give yourself panic attacks. The desire for perfection, in someone with a very strong superego, is an emotionally exhausting and never ending race. But if we time down the “beastly” qualities, and the often irrational stressed out never satisfied boss telling us what to do, we can become happier and healthier, finding true balance.

Many people go to CBT or DBT therapy to battle self imposed unhealthy coping mechanisms or habits that seem great but end up hurting you. It also challenges delusional pathologies.

However, the spiritual solution of the issues imbedded in the human brain is much deeper and more effective. It only requires faith and meditation. And to maintain it, lots of shadow work.

The ritual to fully embody your soul rather than your ego:

  1. Stare unflinchingly into the mirror. Try to blink as little as possible until your face morphs and looks a bit unreal. I have done this before and seen myself become a pretty Asian girl (I’m white), a skull, and many other embodiments which I believe could be my past life selves. But allowing yourself to deeply meditate on your mirror image can awaken your soul or teach you buried truths about yourself, some of which might be frightening. You just look deeply into your eyes and say “[my name], show me who I am.” Then if you sink deep into the meditation you will likely get visions and glimpses of your astral body, soul, and places of your inner world that you are residing at in different dimensions. You will also get a deeper sense of self knowledge.
  2. Try the phenomena discovered in the 20th century called Automatic Writing. Usually people do this to channel spirits, but put the intention out to speak from your subconscious mind. If you’re good at switching between mental states at will, you can ask your Deep self questions as you go along. Otherwise your ego will fade from your consciousness as you humbly let your Spirit take over full control over your hand and inscribe whatever wisdom that is vital to your life. You usually know if it works if you never predict what is being said until the word appears on the paper, and the handwriting changes into “somebody else’s.” This is because you’re essentially dissociating into a completely different mind frame, that is ruled by souls, not egos.
  3. Lay down or run a warm bath and put on meditation music. Let yourself go into a trance state. Pray/wish/intend/spell to meet your higher self. Unlock the door to your soul space which might literally require opening a mental door and step into the mystical land of your soul. It could be the inside of a house, it could be a beach or forest, it can be a black void, it can even be somewhere so alien looking that you don’t recognize it. Have complete faith and patience that you will meet your higher self/guardian angel (some people say they are one in the same although this might be disputed). You might see someone identical to you. And it’s equally likely you see an entity with non hominid features, or someone out of a fantasy book with wings and many eyes. It could also just look like a whispy ghost. But you will recognize deep in your heart that you are connecting with your Inner Self. You will feel joy. Ask them as many questions as you wish. Since this Aspect of your soul likely exists in another dimension they might not have all day to talk, but they will definitely give you great guidance and a newfound self of self uncorrupted by projections from loved ones or society, or pride or fear, or identity crises.

Good luck!! I will edit this to make it better and add more rituals.

I also recommend you check out Teal Swan’s video: The Connection Process (How to Connect with Yourself). It is the source behind the first ritual, but in this video she is much more informative and instructs you to go very deep inside your many layers to discover yourself. She is ingenious and very enlightened.

Halloween/Samhain: A blue moon and the veil is thinner than ever

Hallows Eve, the prior day to All Saints Day, Dia de la meurta, Samhain- October 31– God loosens the gate between realms and the dead are allowed to mingle with the living. The King of the Underworld rises and the denizens of Hades roam around the sweet vivaciousness of the earth. Demons are summoned and sometimes sacrificed to. Ancestors and deceased relatives are called upon and the living savour the time with them. Of course you could technically communicate with the dead any day, but THIS is the holidays of necromancers and that energy takes cadence and puts a supernatural shimmer to the night air. There are no more pesky borders between heaven, hell, and earth (and all the other realms of what humans call the ‘afterlife’). The gods Osiris, Isis, Anubis, the Morrigan, Yama, Hel, Freya, and Demeter should be honored on this day.

An extremely exciting factor is the fact that Halloween is on a full moon, a blue moon, nonetheless.

There is a full moon in Taurus, the sign of the Bull, ruled by Venus. This energy creates an environment of femininity, stability, stubbornness, and sentimentality.

The other astrological proponents dictate that we will feel irritible, on edge, and energized. It’s easy to get into petty arguments. Tensions between lovers are also at a high- there is a feeling of neediness but also a tendency towards conflict- so it’s not the most ideal night for romance. But during the day of the dead, fuck romance. These caustic energies of this legendary holiday will hopefully align us with certain spirits who have righteous anger towards the earthlings and want to psychically deliver a message that will bring upon change.

Now, here are ideas on how to make your Samhain special.

-Make carving your pumkin a ritualistic magickal endevour, if you want. When you carve out the face, picture whose it could be, why the expression is what it is, and how long they are going to be stuck that way, and how much light they are going to get on the inside, and what sloppy gooey parts of their personality this could reveal. This could be totally benign, or it could be savage. Maybe I’m the only one who would think of likening a pumpkin to a voodoo doll, but it is definitely something that I shall try.

-Treat the gorgeous and mysterious black cats (and all cats, of course) extra generously. Make sure the strays have treats and know your house could be a chill spot to hang. It’s always nice to have these furry witchlings about.

-For Trick-or-Treaters, tape on spooky fortune cookie messages to the candy. If they compliment your costume and you are wearing a witch’s dress tell them convincingly it isn’t a costume and wink. In fact say that even if you’re dressed as a ghoul. A little fright is always healthy for a youngster.

-Research other culture’s ways of honouring the dead. This will teach you a whole different way of viewing life, traditions, and history, and you can seek to understand the spiritual basis for their beliefs. It’s always important to broaden your horizons.

-Decorate your house & altar special for this occasion. Including pine cones, mini pumpkins, scythes, fallen leaves, nuts, ears of corn, strawman, skulls, black candles, a symbolic item to connect with a deceased loved one.

-Gather up your most trusted psychic & intuitive friends, and invite them for a Seance in your living room. Channel any spirit whether an ancestor, a god, a passed loved one… allow them into your veins, their energy circulating hand to hand encompassing the whole table, speaking through your lips. Let them give you the message you are meant to hear, the one they need to say. As a medium, it’s both your right and your duty. If you don’t have any friends you could do something so intimate with, you can always connect with the Spirit yourself. Ouija boards have a bad reputation, but bad things only happen with them because of the dangerous mindset that they’re inherently evil. Scared people attract dark entities through their fear. Viewed in a completely neutral light, they are an extremely useful tool, and more comprehensive than a question board. I personally always say prayers to the archangels and intend that the room is filled with holy light and only good spirits can speak through the board. I’ve never had a bad experience. Another way to channel spirits is automatic writing- just putting the pen to the paper and letting it flow. You’ll know you are doing it right if you feel disconnected from the process, do not know what you will write next, and if your handwriting changes or you use unfamiliar symbols. All you really need to do is let the spirit slightly inhabit you and let them move your hand independent from your ego. This could lead to prophecies.

Remember, most of all, to thank the Dark Mother Lilith, and the Goddess in her Crone aspect, as you explore the streets on this important day. Life and death are ultimately intertwined, and leaving the physical vessel is nothing but a transformation, like that of a butterfly. Embracing ghosts and Ancient Ones like the Goddess herself fearlessly, honouring the parts of you that have been destroyed and alchemized into something stronger and more fervent, and the old lady inside of you. And don’t forget to also stay child-like with your eyes wide open at all the mysteries and miracles that are around you.

Telivision, spy ears peeled

The commercial words screech at you like a honking bus in mid traffic. They, the ghosts that control your own personal Maya (at least yours is unique and wickedly you, unlike the boring cliche streamlined module that most people have a version of), highlight this particular sentence in the TV screen. “Like a good neighbor state farm is there.” The full meaning flashes through your head a bit painfully. The corporation is watching. They’re there. But they, like a dud of a typical Karen neighbor, will fake warmth and hospitality. It’s all a crock load of shit. Don’t need a transdimensional dragon therapist to tell me that the government just wants to reduce me to a a line of code whose assets they could suck out and whose future they could render bleak, as all of the dreams I had have been swallowed by the oblivion of hopelessness that hit me like cinderblocks when I turned 16 and realized how unrealistic my plans were. That doesn’t mean I didn’t try though. I tried too hard. And it made me crazy. Crazy enough for their lizard brain frequencies to effect me. I whimpered and slid down the couch, just wanting it all to end. Finally the vampire show came back and at least I was getting messages from my demon friends on the Astral now. Sometimes world jumping can happen at the slightest flicker of the silver screen, and your own soul can breathe through a symmetrically featured actor as you play your part in yet another chess game inside the matrix inside the fucking matrix inside God knows what inside the Universe inside God’s left eyeball.

Detachment theory for Primarily Obsessive OCD

When we are cycling through bad thoughts, spiteful worries seemingly with a mind of their own who flay at our brains torturously, saying we need to pay attention or soemthing seriously bad will hapepn, a nd it will be all our fautls. Shutting down these thoughts isn’t always so straightforward. You’d think to just tell these cynical gory jerks to fuck off would work, but rather, repressing these thoughts can just make them come back stronger. Also what comes into mind is the Catch-22 of ‘don’t think of the purple elephant.’ “You lost the game!” And when you are trying to cultivate a zen garden in your mind, and you believe in the Law of Attraction, sometimes thinking feels like a game you HAVE to win. But allow yourself leeway. Sometimes just being present with the thought, acknowledging that it’s heinous and something you’d never want to hear again, but just accepting that it was a defunct creation of your crazy brain ( I use the word as a non-insult) , and letting it go into the wind where it cannot harm anyone. Then after you let it go you can focus on other things, like daydreaming your way into the arms of your futuristic alien lover, or solving that problem at work, or planting sunflower, daisy, rose, and other wholesome positive seeds in your mind-garden so the beautiful thoughts will be sure to overpower the bad. (Don’t obsess over it as a competition though) And make sure you water with self-love, confidence, and gratitude.

You also can utilize the practice of radical self acceptance. Yes, I have these horrible thoughts that seem uncontrollable. No, it does not make me a bad person. I am who I am. I am both.

Remember that your dangerous deviations in your internal monologues happen because of your ego’s need to prove that it has full free will, and that no set of morals that have perhaps been slightly overly pushed onto you as a child (no matter how much you truly identify with them), will wholly define you as a person. It’s also the amygdala constantly saying, “i have a fear, i have a fear, if we ready ourselves against it, it won’t happen!” Even though you obsess that it will happen, your soul’s actual ulterior motive is to prevent it from ever happening by learning to despise the concept of it so much.

And that’s my educational mental illness word slop for today!

This article is written from personal experience- I do not have any degrees in psychology.

Sovereignty, Surrender, and the Happy Medium in Spellcasting

When you’re wreaked with havoc and doubt and you are experiencing catastrophe, a common saying is to “let Jesus take the wheel.” Close your eyes, and surrender the situation to God, having perfect faith that he will help you through it. This POPS your ego which would not be helpful as it is filled with stress and strife, and it allows your crown chakra to align with Holy Power, pure wise conscious light siphoned from Heavens. Putting your own personal power, or giving it up, to God, often works very well, as long as you trust Them, which is probably a moot point if you are doing it. The universe will make room for your prayers, hopes, and wishes within this tribulation and things will usually fall into place.

On the other hand, some people for their own reasons doubt the Forces that Be, perhaps viewing the universe as a random event generator, cruelly ambivalent to human needs and desires. Of course, this clashes with my own spiritual views, but like any perspective, it has some validity. Sometimes the most potent course of action is to take power into your own hands. This is channeling the Kaballah from up to down, summoning the white light of Kether and the rest of the Sephirots to your physical experience, Malkuth. This energetic transference can be symbolized by the inverted cross associated with Baphomet and Satanism, in which the focal point of the operation is in the animalistic nature of the man, not his Higher Self or God. However it is not devilish or nefarious in any sense. It’s merely using the powers imbued in you in order to make a change, decided by your will and yours alone, in the machinations of the Universe. To do a spell, however many complicated steps or materials it calls for (I am not prone to following such spellwork, mine is more fast and blunt), is simply to desire, visualize, intend, spark it (say the magickal words, light the candle, or stick the final nail into the voodoo dolls coffin, etc), believe that it is in progress (this is essential), and see or sense it come alive and become manifest. Witchcraft has infinite variations and is completely up to the individual creativity of the practitioner. They become their own god for the time being, the Universe opens up for them and their ordinances, as they dance with chance and fate.

Then you have the in between, where you are not completely independent and autonomous, nor are you investing all your auric energy to the Divine Will of the Creator. In these situations, you may have a particular deity that you work with, and although you are considered lower than them, it is a relationship with give and take on both ends. You summon them or invite them into your circle, you leave an offering as a token of respect and appreciation, whether it’s incence, a crystal, tea…you converse about what needs to be done on the Astral planes to meet your goal, and you work together. These are the best kinds of partnerships. To work with an ancient deity teaches you so much. They are sometimes critical with you in order to help you grow. Other times they show you extraordinary visions and unlock hidden parts of your mind. It is not like the movies, where salt is imperative, and the entity must be forcibly banished or they will try to haunt and possess you (not that this can’t be the case with certain demons- always have caution). These entities can be in several places at once, it’s all about multitasking with their consciousness which is easy, so it’s not a big deal to call upon them when you need help. You will feel their unique energy, perhaps smell a certain scent that emanates off their astral body, or hear their voice in your head. It is almost always an extremely rewarding experience and enhances spellwork a lot.

The Journey Inwards Begins

As above, so below. As within, so without. The fractals and spirals of your journey through time is neverending… you are forever floating through the universe, an infinite being with no limits. My website is intended to teach you pearls of insight about the nature of the Universe. Psychology and spirituality go hand in hand, so as you explore God you explore yourself, and as you explore your own shadows you explore the Devil. Naught is to be feared in this sea of wonders. Just observed and embraced. Good luck, Namaste, and Blessed Be, beloved souls. 

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.”
James Oppenheim