When we are cycling through bad thoughts, spiteful worries seemingly with a mind of their own who flay at our brains torturously, saying we need to pay attention or soemthing seriously bad will hapepn, a nd it will be all our fautls. Shutting down these thoughts isn’t always so straightforward. You’d think to just tell these cynical gory jerks to fuck off would work, but rather, repressing these thoughts can just make them come back stronger. Also what comes into mind is the Catch-22 of ‘don’t think of the purple elephant.’ “You lost the game!” And when you are trying to cultivate a zen garden in your mind, and you believe in the Law of Attraction, sometimes thinking feels like a game you HAVE to win. But allow yourself leeway. Sometimes just being present with the thought, acknowledging that it’s heinous and something you’d never want to hear again, but just accepting that it was a defunct creation of your crazy brain ( I use the word as a non-insult) , and letting it go into the wind where it cannot harm anyone. Then after you let it go you can focus on other things, like daydreaming your way into the arms of your futuristic alien lover, or solving that problem at work, or planting sunflower, daisy, rose, and other wholesome positive seeds in your mind-garden so the beautiful thoughts will be sure to overpower the bad. (Don’t obsess over it as a competition though) And make sure you water with self-love, confidence, and gratitude.
You also can utilize the practice of radical self acceptance. Yes, I have these horrible thoughts that seem uncontrollable. No, it does not make me a bad person. I am who I am. I am both.
Remember that your dangerous deviations in your internal monologues happen because of your ego’s need to prove that it has full free will, and that no set of morals that have perhaps been slightly overly pushed onto you as a child (no matter how much you truly identify with them), will wholly define you as a person. It’s also the amygdala constantly saying, “i have a fear, i have a fear, if we ready ourselves against it, it won’t happen!” Even though you obsess that it will happen, your soul’s actual ulterior motive is to prevent it from ever happening by learning to despise the concept of it so much.
And that’s my educational mental illness word slop for today!
This article is written from personal experience- I do not have any degrees in psychology.